Tuesday, May 11, 2010


For those of you not on my Facebook Brock got really, really sick this last week/weekend and we had a 2 day stay at the children's hospital. Basically he got a stomach virus for the 2nd time in a month. We both have had it twice, actually and it has sucked. Well his little body just couldn't fight off the virus and all that comes with it a second time. He went from not feeling great but acting ok Thursday to extremely sick and dehydrated Friday morning. As soon as he woke up I knew he was not feeling good at all so I called his pedi as soon as they opened and they said to get him to the ER ASAP he sounded dehydrated. I felt like a horrible mother b/c I let it get as bad as it did, but I have never dealt with dehydration before and even the doctors said had I come in on Thursday they would have sent us home and said it was a virus.

So we get to the ER Friday morning and they pull us back almost immediately but no one was that concerned at this point. Yes, he was dehydrated but not too bad, he still had tears when he cried and stuff like that. But in the hour it took to get a room to get his IV's hooked up his blood sugar plummeted and he was so lethargic he just moaned when they put the IV in. At this point I started to get really nervous about just how sick he was, we didn't know at the time how low his blood sugar was (44) so the fact he was basically blacking out was freaking us all out. They did conclude later his blood sugar had gotten so low b/c he refused to eat a single bite (literally) since Wednesday night. Then when after he had gotten two bags of fluids, still had not peed, and was still pretty out of it they told us we would have to stay. It sucked but I would have rather stayed and had him looked after than came home just to go right back to the ER the next day. He was on fluids the entire time we were there.

They kept taking finger pricks to check his sugar and blood draws to make sure it was just a virus and everything checked out ok. This whole thing just gave me a new outlook on my little boy. His babyhood is fading so quickly. On Wednesday he barely slept and I spent a lot of time with him rocking him. And I swear to you my heart grew and broke at the same time. Looking at my little boy with his extremely long eyelashes resting against his cheek as he would take huge peaceful breaths while he slept I realized something. This maybe one of the last times I truly get to rock him. Yes, there will be countless nights I will be up with a sick toddler, kid, and teenager, but the days of him being a baby are almost gone. I don't know when this happened and to be honest I am so sad it has. He is my buddy, my sidekick, and my right hand man. Clayton works so much it as always been me and Brock. And as much as I have shaped him and taught him he has shaped me and taught me just as much. He is a miracle and beautiful, he has an old soul but a young spirit.

Not only will he not be a baby anymore, but soon, very soon he will not be the center of my world anymore. I sometimes get sad things have to change. I love being with him. I love spending time shopping, reading, playing with him. And I know in a few short months my time with him will be divided. I am so excited to be giving him a brother but this is even more evidence of his babyhood slipping from my grasp. He has made me a mom, he has shaped me for the last two years, he has blessed me beyond measure and I just hope and pray I have done the same for him.

We work so hard to raise good people. I am always so focused on the future how to make Brock a good kid, and good teen, and ultimately a good man. And here we are knocking on the door of being a kid and I don't know how we got here so fast, or if I've done enough. But through it all I know he has taught me how to love more than I ever thought possible. So these last few times I have rocked him, I continue to rock him long after he is asleep and whisper prayers of gratitude and guidance over my boy and I hope I have been as good to him as he has to me.